In preparing to give a vocations talk for high-schoolers, I began to reflect upon my own vocation journey thus far. Emotions run high as you attempt discerning your path through life, and these emotions can be some of the best guidance God has to offer. Oftentimes, that is exactly how God speaks with you on a regular basis; that is, unless you have a proven track record of bullheadedness (like me) and require more direct speech…
Of all the emotions I have felt thus far, two outshine all the others for both their practical usefulness and their ensuing grace. Unfortunately, only one is often regarded as useful or “grace”-ful. The first seems to be the byproduct that we desire from the second, and to even desire the second does not make much sense. For the record, I do not think that anyone should desire the second emotion. But, in recognizing its purpose and place, I hope that when it does arise (and trust me it will) that you might be thankful for such a concrete nudge from God to change direction
The two emotions are peace and frustration.
Peace:
I’ll admit that not much needs to be said about this feeling. It’s how I felt the moment after a priest conveyed choosing a vocation as answering one question: “what do you want to put at the center of your day?” In the nanosecond it took me to answer “celebrating the Mass and the Church,” God flooded me with peaceful reassurance. You feel it after finally understanding why people enjoy reading Steinbeck or stopped caring because you are convinced there is no redeeming quality to his work. Probably a better example (or at least one less bitter towards Steinbeck) is how you feel when you can curl up on the couch with your sweetheart and just “be.” Not watching tv or talking or even napping, but just being with each other. Letting each other’s presence be the proof that you love each other.
The best example I can give is having that same relationship mentioned above with your sweetheart, but with God. Just being with God. Not saying the Lord’s prayer, a Hail Mary, or even offering praise to Him, but just resting with God. That comfortability to just rest in Him produces the most pure sense of peace possible on Earth. It’s also the feeling that accompanies knowing that your will is acting alongside God’s Will. In other words, you’re following the path He wants for you, and you’re aware of that.
That knowledge can bring about a sustained feeling of peace, but doubting your path or not recognizing it can bring about different emotions, including our second emotion.
Frustration:
Like I wrote above, it’s beyond me as to why anyone would desire to be frustrated. Please don’t confuse this with any sort of feeling of “brokenness”, such as anxiety, fear, or apprehension. Those emotions can help you realize that you have no real control over your future; that, if left up to you, your life would be an utter wreak.
If you feel those, then GREAT!! You’re recognizing that you have something that God wants you to offer up. Pray to know what that is, and then offer it up!
But frustration is not like those; frustration isn’t fear or apprehension. Rather, it’s the feeling that you’re actually on the right path, but lacking the first emotion we discussed: peace. Think of it this way:
If what you’re feeling comes after having some knowledge that you’re on the right path, then you’re feeling frustrated.
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on the other hand,
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If what you’re feeling comes (or coincides) with a lack of life direction or after a change you made hoping for peace, then you’re probably not feeling frustration, but fear, apprehension, or generally “lost”.
Frustration should always come after times of peace, because being frustrated requires having a goal that was either “not achieved…or prematurely interrupted.” (Definition from Google). Without thinking that your path should be taking you towards peace, then you’re not being interrupted from your goal; you were just floundering around, hoping for peace.
Anyway, now that you’re (hopefully!) thoroughly convinced that frustration must follow after feeling peace, it’s time to talk about why frustration is a good thing. That follows in part II of this post.
